In light of Mr. Dennstrow's letter (Mailbag, Nov. 2), may I offer these political definitions?

Conservative, n. A politician who believes people should be pushed around in the same old-same old ways.

Liberal, n. A politician who boldly seeks out strange new ways to take advantage of people.

Moderate, n. A politician who can't decide on which raw deal to dish out to the people.

And of course:

Politics, n. The study and practices of shapeless, parasitic organisms that feed upon the blood, sweat and money of their victims.

Marvin E. Fuller, Sweet Home